my favorite book.

He's my favorite book, his eyes are the deepest symbols that can represent what he holds true.

His mouth speaks kind words full of promise, love and tender care.

His heartbeat gives me a nostalgic head rush full of happy moments I had nearly forgotten about with my family.

He is the only person I can lay down with and sleep beside. He doesn't mind if I drool either.

My parents discourage me at times from him, every time they speak ill of him, my heart hurts because I want them to see how he makes me feel. I paint, I take pictures, I draw, but he makes me care.

Look for someone who makes you feel this good, it will be worth all the waiting and searching.

wake up, knowledge is power.

People have a hard time believing me about this whole issue I had with my dad's foster brother. The fact is

1/4 girls get sexually abused by the age of 18

1/6 boys get sexually abused as well.

30-40% of victims get abused my their own family members in their own homes.

40% of victims are abused by older children or people in late teen years/early twenties.

My case is not unique. I wish it was but it's not.

I only wish it was because I know three other women on my street who this has happened to and that is sad.

It is sad and pathetic that people find it hard to believe.

This is why I hate Barrie and small towns so much, people find the most simplest things hard to believe because they are ignorant to issues around them.

Get off your asses, stop getting drunk all the time, stop smoking up and look at the big picture. Be aware of people and their actions and realize all the of the things that happen around you and what you are doing.

how i think.

Pessimist says glass is half empty

Optimist says glass is half full.

Rationalist says glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

this is why i am a hermit.

All of you are double edged people. Your smiles are sharper than your wits if you thought I couldn't figure this out.

i am

Lately I have been splurging like a mad woman on clothing and as shallow as it seems...I think I am beginning to find myself because I am no longer dressing for anyone else but myself. A lot of guys I liked or have been with pressured me to look a certain way and I always thought of myself as a person of change. I am not a person of change. I hate it I moved so much and grew up as a socially awkward freak.

Now that I have someone who finds me perfect the way I am, I can finally be myself. I've learned that I am: opinionated, loud yet quiet, commit random acts of cruelty and kindess, and that I can quite possibly be nice. Also, I look good in purple.

I have a distinct taste in literature  now. I do not read non-fiction anymore unless it is for school projects. I only read philosophy books and poetry. Most of my books make spiritual people feel uncomfortable so at times I feel bad, however their babbling aboud how I am going to go to hell evens things out.

I also am putting myself before others because how can you help others if you aren't even taking care of yourself. My education comes first now, and I am back on track in all my classes so hopefully I will exceed my own expectations.

Also, I realize who my true friends are, I have very few but quality over quantity. Most of my friends that are girls are airheads or two-faced. My male friends are horndogs.

The rest of the people I see are gutter material, others are gutter's gutter material. I only want positive influences in my life now.

atheism

A teacher is my school mocked me for having a book on Atheism. He was totally fine with having a Bible in the class and even wanted to hear a few quotations from it. My school is in Barrie. Barrie is really ignorant city and I really hate it. Since when is it okay to mock a student when it comes to their ideals and beliefs? He made devil horns and said I had relations with the devil AND wanted to be different on purpose.

I am not sorry that I read philosophy books, and other non-fiction reads that oppose the majority's beliefs. I do not try to be different, I lost 'friends' over differences of opinion on the hot topic 'God', so why would I purposely make life harder for myself if I am not even a non-believer?

Also...ATHEISM, has nothing to do with relations with the Devil, so way to go Barrie North Teaching Staff.

Fuck you.

alone

I need to find someone that I can relate to. I cannot rely on my boyfriend all the time, I hope I can find someone who has the same basic values and principles instead of people who isolate me from their other friends due to religous conflict or just being catty. I might meet someone new soon, but I won't to get my hopes up because I think I am a hard person to like at times.

no drinking

no drugs

open mind

formspring me,

This new site, formspring me- is really stupid. You have gutless people asking questions over the web instead of in person. Man, why should you answer questions to people who don't bother to ask you in person?

I know I have it, so far most of the questions are perverted or relatively 'mean'.

The internet and technology is taking personal touches and socialization away from us. I remember when we were all in kindergarden and would play with each other and take time to ask stupid questions like how old you are?, what's your name? do you like barbies?

Now formspring is taking all that away. Even blogspot, does this but blogspot is more for venting. How many people actually read this? Formspring is pure laziness. I dislike where our world is going to be if we don't start communicationg with each other face to face.

Also remember when cell phones were used to call people?

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/victoriadelray